“Look at yourself. Dark skinned, thin. 30 sized breasts. Of course he has lost all his interest in you! I would’ve done the same.”
“ Oh come on. You are one of India’s most popular TV journalists. Stop being a baby.”
“Unfortunately, size of breast and colour of skin matters more to people in our country.”
“It’s their loss then. Go and face him.”
“You are probably right. And maybe I’m just imagining things. Like my reflection talking to me.”
I removed the ‘eye shadow’ not wanting the trails of tears to leave a mark on my face.
A half hearted smile accompanied by a faint moan which I believe meant NO. I wasn't in my senses anyway.
Why did the ‘Jen’ sound so cold? Sidharth and mom were the only two persons in this planet who could call me Jen and keep me happy. It did not work today though.
“Sid what’s happening? What’s wrong with Raju’s Dhaba? I feel so alien inside this place!”
“Just wanted to make you feel comfortable”, he said as the waiter came in with the bowls of soup.
He had a habit of blinking a lot when he had something to say..
“What is it?”
“You stick to your promise first. Eat and drink whatever I buy you when I take out.”
“I’m not feeling all that well.”
“Something bothering you?”
“I want to end this”, he finally murmured.
I took a long breath. The whole room was going topsy turvy around me. Don’t faint Jennifer. Don’t give up. Be strong..
“Baby are you ok? Did I rush things?”
No you sonnofabitch. I’m not ok. To expect something is totally different from actually experiencing it. A meager “why” was all I could come up with.
“But I..” I was interrupted when “the waiter” placed a slice of good looking dish (Lord knows what it’s name was) on our table.
“It’s a decision I made after a lot of serious thinking honey.”
In my anger I dug the fork deep into the slice. Initially I thought it was the sound of fork hitting the ceramic but then I saw something glowing inside.
“Honey. I want you to help me end this bachelorhood. Think you can tolerate me for the rest of your life?”